How do get over my past relationship

how do get over my past relationship

If you ever find yourself heartbroken, 18 and back in the year , 7 Honest Reasons You Still Haven't Gotten Over Your Past Relationship. “The amount of happiness that you have depends on the amount of freedom you have in your heart.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh. Nine years ago my heart was in a. It is possible to make getting over your ex a pain-free process . is relative to each relationship, moving past these negative feelings in the time.

My ex-boyfriend had to juggle multiple roles, from therapist to cheerleader to babysitter. The whole relationship revolved around holding me up. The guilt and shame kept me single for almost a decade. I dated, but it was always casual. Long after I let go of the man, feelings about the relationship held me back. I was afraid of being vulnerable.

Learning to Let Go of Past Hurts: 5 Ways to Move On

I was afraid of being hurt. But mostly I was afraid of hurting someone else again and having to live with that.

how do get over my past relationship

This might seem productive—like you can somehow change things by rehashing it. All dwelling does is cause you to suffer. When you start revisiting the past in your head, pull yourself into the moment. Focus on the good things in your current situation: It might help to tell your friends to only let you vent for ten minutes at a time. Work on forgiving yourself.

Instead, keep reminding yourself that you are human. And you will learn from them and use those lessons to improve your life.

Learning to Let Go of Past Hurts: 5 Ways to Move On

Also, keep in mind: You can only do that if you feel love toward yourself. And that means forgiving yourself. True, I was single throughout my twenties, but that made it easier to travel and devote myself to different passions. Whatever happened in the past, it prepared you for now—and now is full of opportunities for growth, peace, and happiness.

Remember the bad as well as the good. Scientists also suggest this is a biological occurrence—that the longing can have an addictive quality to it, actually rooted in our brain chemistry. As a result, we tend to remember everything with reverie, as if it was all sunshine and roses.

how do get over my past relationship

In all reality, you both have strengths and weaknesses and you both made mistakes. Reconnect with who you are outside a relationship. Unless you hop from relationship to relationship, odds are you lived a fulfilling single life before you got into this one. You were strong, satisfied, and happy, at least on the whole. Remember that person now. Reconnect with any people or interests that may have received less attention while you were attached.

The strong, happy, passionate person you were attracted your ex. That person will get you through this loss and attract someone equally amazing in the future when the time is right.

Not a sad, depressed, guilt-ridden person clutching to what once was.

how do get over my past relationship

What do you love about life? Hope can be a terrible thing if it keeps you stuck in the past. Breaking off the friendship might feel like ruining your chances at knowing love again. So instead of wanting a specific person to re-enter your life, want love and happiness, whatever that may look like.

You will know love again. In one way or another, you will meet all kinds of people and create all kinds of possibilities for relationships—if you forgive yourself, let go, and open yourself up, that is. Are you an active participant in your own life, or simply a hopeless victim?

Will you let your pain become your identity? Or are you someone deeper and more complex than that?? Stop being the victim and blaming others. Yes, your feelings matter. You need to take responsibility for your own happiness, and not put such power into the hands of another person. Why would you let the person who hurt you — in the past — have such power, right here, right now? No amount of rumination of analyses have ever fixed a relationship problem.

So why choose to engage in so much thought and devote so much energy to a person who you feel has wronged you? Focus on the present — the here and now — and joy. Let go of the past, and stop reliving it. When you focus on the here and now, you have less time to think about the past. When the past memories creep into your consciousness as they are bound to do from time to timeacknowledge them for a moment.

And then bring yourself gently back into the present moment. Forgive them — and yourself. You did something that hurt me.

But I want to move forward in my life and welcome joy back into it. And forgiving yourself may be an important part of this step as well, as sometimes we may end up blaming ourselves for the situation or hurt.

It would be sacrilegious to let it go. Every day you choose to hold on to the pain is another day everybody around you has to live with that decision. And feel its consequences. So do everybody — and yourself — a big favor: Let go of the pain. Do something different today and welcome happiness back into your life. Learning to Let Go of Past Hurts:

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